Monday, September 24, 2012

The Scribble Diary

photo by Lisa Currie. One awesome artist.

I love spending time on Doodlers Anonymous. It's a great community of artists where egos don't run high. Their latest post discussing a fantastic brainstorming book (call it as you please, the possibilities are endless with this diary) is something I'd like to share with anyone passing by. If you like to doodle, sketch, draw and keep a diary, but often find yourself saying "where do I start," this book is where you start. I love that it reads like a diary but you can adapt it to your style. I can't often express myself with words daily but I love converting shapes into the words I can't write. Doodle your day.

When artists take the time to develop something to help other creative minds, I'm in full support.

Here's two more spots where you can learn more:
Busy Body-Lazy (Lisa Currie's blog)

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Things you keep to yourself

Strangers who have no problem with handing over their documented secrets make me laugh. It never fails that daily, people leave behind IDs, reports, love letters and personal secrets in the machines.

Every so often a friendly older man would come in, we would exchange the courteous retail smile and move along. One day he forgot a stack of his paperwork. I never knew his name so I figured something in the stack would tell me who he was so I could set it aside for him. Turns out the guy taught karate, has a family, kids and is a convicted pedophile. His stack was a mixture of work related documents, church documents and certificates from the church stating he's now "cured." The cured karate man called shortly after asking if anyone left a stack of paperwork in one the machines, he came in later that day and never showed his face again.

Sometimes I wonder how many other creeps I've encountered but then it quickly washes away when I discover puppy photos in the machine.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Going in circles

Where do you find motivation and inspiration?
Sometimes my mind feels like a constant rut and I can't figure out where to "go."
I've always loved to draw. It's been my distraction. I space out, stop listening, draw lines and circles freely and create. But, it's been just that, a distraction.

Society puts this huge pressure on us with idealistic views of success. Well, is it idealistic? Or is that what I call it because I can't seem to achieve it. How do you measure it? It's been mind boggling to watch my friends grow, thrive, learn and function. Why is it that I still haven't figured out what the fuck I'm doing with my life?! I've been holding on to this constant anxiety as I wait for some sort of an epiphany. Then as I type that I realize I just made another excuse. Supposedly if I work for what I want and set my mind to it, I'll achieve it. Understood, but how do I figure out what the hell 'it' is?

There was a lot of its in there.
"we all float."

Saturday, September 15, 2012


Anxiously counting down the days until Hawaii. I've never taken a real vacation. I've never gone somewhere new and immersed myself into exploring my surroundings. Aside from warm beaches and staring down seaturtles, I'm most excited to eat! I'm not a big seafood fan and for years despised veggies, I promised myself I'll be open to new tastes --- except spam. Spam is always questionable.

Revisiting old photos. For years I constantly had a camera attached to my hands. I loved taking pictures of everything and my old deadjournals/livejournals suffered through it. I was the pesky friend who insisted on documenting everything... not always a good thing. My camera has been dead for at least a year now and I know I can't really blog without photos so here goes another promise. I will take more pictures and not post photos that are 3 years old (above. oops). Maybe now I'll bother to learn to take decent photos that aren't blurry? Questionable.

Watching Law and Order SVU. Getting rid of cable was a great/poor decision. I said "no cable will encourage me to read and draw more." Sike. Getting rid of cable caused me to obsess over shows and marathon all day. I'm up to episode 157. I can't be alone in this addiction!

Encouraging myself. I'm fucking hard on myself. There's nothing to it. I'm judgmental, mean and rude to myself. I'm getting older and these childish games with myself just need to end. Living my life trying to compare myself to others and feeling pitiful of myself is shameless. I'll never be my minds idea of "perfection." That is unless I quit self-loathing and make an effort to improve myself. So, I'm encouraging myself to enjoy life, grow, make the self improvements I desire, and live without self-doubt. Maybe I should do this daily?

Eating butterfly gummies I stole from my roommate because it's my life and they are delicious.

Lastly, I'm avoiding taking a shower. I'm an idiot who scheduled a bikini wax because I love torturing myself. Hello ma'am, nice to meet you, sure, go ahead and rip apart my skin and make me hate your guts.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Free writing

Being social makes me fucking anxious, I'm not going to lie. I often talk out of my ass, stumble over words or make awkward conversation. Throughout junior high and high school I always kept an online journal for free writing because I enjoyed not knowing my audience or having that weird feeling of being judged. I've been lucky that Alex has allowed me to be a fool since the beginning. Below definitely helps describe me. Blogging now seems so different than when I was younger. Everyone has some sort of niche, don't you ever feel like just writing?

"I've decided to stop taking my sleeping pills. So far it's not working out very well because it's almost 3 in the morning and sleep seems to be impossible. I have too much time on my hands lately but never seem to have time to clean my room. I keep starting books and never finishing them. I like how when I attempt to clean I leave one very clean corner then get distracted by something. I swear I'm not messy. I think it'd be fun to spy in a thrift store and see people buy your stuff. I like discovering old toys. I made friends with my slinky and wished I was bright enough to think of bending wires and have it tumble down the stairs. I always wanted an etch a sketch, maybe I'll finally buy one and amuse myself with dirty sketches. I'm going to start doing illustrations for a friends short stories and I'm pretty excited. Supposedly my shirts are finally going into print tomorrow, supposedly. I wonder if monkeys are soft. While riding my bike earlier I saw a cat and got a little scared. I wonder what possums feel like. I like platano frito. Why do dogs smell each other's butts? I like imagining what peoples dogs would sound like if they could speak. Diane gave me a xl large dark knight shirt to wear for the release, it looks like a dress but they said I still have to wear pants, whatever. I wish I could draw on my car. I like all crusts." (sent sometime in 2009)

Sunday, September 9, 2012


Sunday is one day of the week I constantly look forward to. Alone or with Alex, eventful or uneventful, it's going to be good because I allow it to be. I live in my head, whatever that means. I think entirely too much and dwell on EVERYTHING. I'll go into this much more in the future but it's Sunday and I hate spoiling it with my thoughts. From inspirational blog posts to dogs acting like humans, I love it. Instead of ranting allow me to share some links. I love seeing what other blogs have to share. Do you have a day in the week you look forward to?

This is Buddha.
Dogs improve blogs.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

A lack of motivation

To do list: buy a scanner. 

I'm definitely a procrastinator. I enjoy making up excuses like, "I work better under pressure," or, "I receive better test scores if I don't study." I enjoy saying it while shaking my head up in down to reassure you it's totally true. "I'm lying, I'm lazy as shit." This is why I enjoy finding lists. Some are messy, some are very meticulous and sometimes I think the owner wrote in code. I'll often wonder if they lost their list on accident, threw it on the ground in victory, wrote it to feel important, or just lost it. I collect notebooks, a lot have a list or two written in them. Mostly food lists. Let's get real, procrastinators don't write life lists. I write distraction lists. Just not always on paper because when I throw it down in victory I don't need a stranger to read, "watched Law and Order SVU for 6 hours instead of improving her well-being."

Look, it's not that I'm a procrastinator, it's that my mind constantly loses it's list.
I'm lying, I'm lazy as shit.
My mind hasn't been able to focus on paper lately. I've decided I have to force myself to write so I don't go into a permanent numlock. Fellow nonsensical ramblers, where are you?

Sunday, September 2, 2012


Years of walking in circles, I'm hoping to find a line somewhere. I'm a hermit who doodles, loves makeup, has a weak spot for mommy blogs, prefers to sleep rather than watch a sunrise (what's so exciting about sunrises?), and is dog obsessed. It's nice to meet you.